


Alone With You.

by lizibabes



Series: Angst Bingo [39]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Coming Out, Highschool AU, M/M, References to bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-03
Updated: 2012-11-03
Packaged: 2017-11-17 15:22:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/553032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizibabes/pseuds/lizibabes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the prompt diaries and journals for angst bingo. Tommy comes over to do homework.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone With You.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: I_glitterz  
> Sequel to [](http://lizibabes.livejournal.com/126972.html)
> 
> Lonely but can be read alone.

Inviting Tommy over to do homework had been nerve wrecking for Adam, but Tommy had just accepted with a smile and asked what day was best for Adam. Which is why Adam is spending his Sunday morning cleaning his room, ready for Tommy coming over. He's not a messy person and he knows Tommy probably won't care about how his room looks, but he just doesn't want things to be a mess. And it's something to do, he's nervous, afraid Tommy won't show up, but at the same time he's scared Tommy will come and end up not liking him. Adam hasn't had a friend over in a while, not since he came out for real, but Tommy is new to school, hadn't been there when the bullying started, and he seems not to care that a lot of people don't like Adam.

　

When someone knocks on his door, Adam isn't expecting it and he startles, knocking over a ton of stuff on his desk and making a huge crash.

　

"Shit," Adam yells.

　

"Can I come in?" A voice calls, and it's Tommy. Adam groans.

　

"Yes." So much for Tommy not seeing his room looking a mess.

　

"Let me help," Tommy says as he walks in, and before Adam knows it Tommy is kneeling down beside him and helping him pick up books. Adam can't help looking at Tommy. He's wearing jeans that are more holes than blue denim and some old worn black band T-shirt. He looks good, but then it's not like Adam hasn't noticed from the first day that Tommy is good looking, handsome. Adam never thought he was into the punk/rocker thing, but Tommy has made him change his mind.

　

"Um I think this is private, you want to put it away?" Tommy asks, and he's holding out Adam's journal to him and Adam feels nerves twist in his gut. 

　

"I know a diary is kind of, well gay, but, ah, I don't really have a lot of people to talk to, and it helps to be able to write stuff down," Adam admits, taking the journal off of Tommy. He doesn't know how Tommy will react to Adam having a journal, but at least he handed it right back. He could have opened it, read from it. Most of the guys from their school would have and Adam would have never heard the end of it.

　

"I keep a journal, it's mainly like really shitty lyrics from when I was in a band at my last school, but I think writing stuff does help. I mean high school is fucked up and you don't always want to talk about it or have anyone you think you can talk about it. Why don't you have many friends anyway?" Tommy asks, straightening up and stealing Adam's desk chair to sit down. Adam drops out of his crouch and sits on the floor, legs crossed.

　

"Because I'm gay. Some people don't care, but they don't want the people who do care to bully them as well." Adam tries to make is sound like he doesn't care, but he does. It hurts, having people he cared about turning against him, abandoning him.

　

"I was out at my old school, and it wasn't a problem," Tommy says, stunning Adam into silence. All he can do is stare.

　

"You didn't know I was gay? So much for gaydar, dude," Tommy smirks, but not like he's mocking Adam or anything and Adam finds himself smiling just a little, the grip on his journal loosening.

　

"I guess I'll have to change all the parts in my journal about being the only gay guy I know," Adam says softly.

　

"You're the only gay guy you know? There's no one else out at school or like out side of school. No boyfriend? I figured you came out in high school, one that apparently isn't too gay friendly. I thought maybe you did it because you were with someone," Tommy says with a slight frown.

　

"No, I don't have a boyfriend. The only gay people I see regularly are on Queer as Folk. I guess I came out because I was sick of only being honest about my sexuality in my diary. I'd write about it, I accepted it, I didn't want to be ashamed of myself. I felt like a coward, just writing about it and then I came out and I realized, I should have come out when it felt right, not just because writing in my journal made it seem like a good idea. I knew it would be bad, but I tried to kid myself that it would be okay," Adam explains. He's not said any of this to anyone, not to his parents even though they are really understanding about his sexuality. He's only let these thoughts out in his journal. It feels almost like a relief to actually say it to a person, a person who might understand, because Tommy has clearly come out before and he's the only other person Adam has met who has come out.

　

"It was brave, doing it even though you were scared and you knew it would be shitty. I don't have a boyfriend either, but I'm not going to hide here. People want to call me names, bully me, not be my friend, fuck them. I've lived my life openly since I was fourteen, I'm not going back into the closet," Tommy says, sounding almost angry.

　

"No one will want to be around you. You'll be a social outcast if things go the same way for you as they did for me," Adam warns.

　

"I don't care. They don't like it, that's their problem, don't you get that, Adam? We're not the ones in the wrong, they are. If they don't like the fact that I'm gay, I don't want them to be my friends. I'd rather be alone living honestly than have a bunch of friends while living a lie," Tommy growls.

　

"You're pretty intense," Adam comments. He's actually kind of impressed. He wishes he could stop caring the way Tommy seems to, it would make his last months at school a hell of a lot easier if he did.

　

"Does it bother you?" Tommy asks.

　

"No, I kind of like it," Adam admits.

　

"Have you written about me in there?" Tommy points to Adam's journal.

　

"Yes, when you asked me to sit with you at lunch, to help you with homework. I wrote that for one lunch time I didn't feel so alone," Adam says, running his fingers over the fake leather of his diary. 

　

"Really, I made you feel better?" Tommy asks.

　

"Yeah, for the first time in a long time, I didn't eat lunch alone," Adam had been so surprised that Tommy had even spoken to him, let alone about something normal and nice, instead of insults and bullying.

　

"Well then I'm really glad that I asked you for help. I mainly asked you because from what I saw you weren't an asshole, and you had on a Queen T-shirt and they rock. I knew you were gay, but it wasn't because of that. Like, I wasn't asking to hit on you," Tommy says softly.

　

"I didn't think you were hitting on me." The thought hadn't even crossed Adam's mind.

　

"I am now, though. Like after the first time you helped me, I got the homework. I asked for help again, because I wanted to be alone with you," Tommy tells him and Adam stares at him, not thinking he could have heard that right.

　

"You want to hit on me?" Adam asks.

　

"You're hot and pretty nice from what I've seen, and I've kind of wanted to kiss you ever since I first saw you at school," Tommy reaches out and takes Adam's journal out of his hand, putting it on the desk behind him. Then he takes Adam's hand, slowly, like he's expecting Adam to pull away. He doesn't, but his heart thumps hard in his chest.

　

"I've never done any of this before," Adam sighs. He's dreamed of it, written about wanting it in his journal, but he has never actually done any of it, even holding Tommy's hand has him feeling flustered. 

　

"I won't rush you. If you want this, we can go slow and if you don't want it, we can still be friends. I'd like to be your friend." Tommy's thumb strokes over Adam's skin as he talks and something so simple, so small, shouldn't feel so good, but it does.

　

"I'd like both of those things. To be with you, to go slow and to be your friend, can I have both?" Adam asks.

　

"Yeah, you can have whatever you want from me, Adam," Tommy offers, and feeling bold, Adam surges up onto his knees so that he can kiss Tommy. It's fast and a little clumsy, but Tommy brings a hand up to Adam's face, cupping it and changing the angle, taking over, dominating the kiss.

　

When Tommy breaks the kiss, Adam is left gasping, totally breathless and when Tommy rubs his thumb over Adam's lower lip, Adam has a feeling they won't be doing any homework. He also has a feeling that going slow won't last all that long. Most of all though, he's not feeling quite so alone right now.

　

The End.


End file.
